Shades of Green and the Scatterbrain

It's taken a couple of weeks but we're now seeing the beginning signs that Little Miss Mango 2 might be just a little, tiny bit jealous of her new mother-consuming sibling. She obviously didn't see it coming, and is beginning to wonder why this realistic-looking new doll of hers seems to be hogging up all her mother time.

So we've got some books, had a bit of a think and a talk in an effort to avoid that dreaded "middle child syndrome" that everyone drones on about, and have decided that it's really all about time. Time spent. Time together. Time apart. Time enough to give them all the idea - that we love them all beyond words, but equally, and that all of their lives share the same importance. Read the signs they give us by the way they behave and react accordingly, calmly and with unbelievable patience. That's something they really don't say enough about when it comes to parents - to be a good one you have to adopt a Lama level of compassion, and it's something that can't be taught but learnt. If not, you just frustrate yourself. That's one of the biggest arguments I have with people of this generation and previous that promote smacking a child as the smartest and best response to any situation. It is the easiest thing in the world to get angry at a child for the things they do, and smacking them is an automatic response. The true test of a parent is staying your hand and dealing with it in a different way - responding with violence is an example of a dying method of thought - kids are associative, and they learn from what they know. You get angry, you hit. I once saw a mother respond to her child hitting another by in turn hitting him and I wondered, where did he learn it from? It's one of those things some of your parents will tell you - good smack will sort him out - ignore them. They say lots of things - one of the weirdest things people said to us when we announced the imminent arrival of Little Mango 3 was - 'oh you're going to have three... you'll have to have four then.!' Huh? Where's the thought pattern that links three children automatically having an issue in upbringing, to four suddenly making it all better?

At the moment I'm having enough trouble keeping my brain focused on the lives of the ones I have. I seem to have come from the hospital the night Little Mango 3 was born with a case of extreme scatterbrain. I start things, and forget to finish them. Constantly. I started planting some pumpkin seeds and ended up digging up half the backyard to make an entire vegetable garden, getting distracted half way through by the pumpkins again and losing track of it all when the mower broke down. Forget about asking me for a coffee - I'll get as far as getting the cup out before I wander off aimlessly. I'm interested to know if all this is happening because of my brain, or to push the envelope and see how far till it cracks completely.

I guess time will tell.