The Physiological Psychic

My back started hurting. I have a bit of a dodgy back, and like a bad knee on an old man which can sense the rain coming, I also knew something was on the way. I was getting sick. Not sick without a cure, not sick so I couldn't move or breath, not sick you better get a priest, just a little sick. Apparently this is the only thing I can predict with my dodgy back, I haven't been able to sense impending danger or find missing people for the police, but it is quite handy if applied in the right way. The only thing this particular sickness had taught me, though, was that kids are germ machines.

Honestly, germs must lose their minds when they enter a school yard, or a kindergarten, or heaven forbid, a kid's birthday party. It must be the emotional equivalent of a kleptomaniac entering a $2 shop – the opportunity so abundant, the thrill so great. Because not only can it bath in the struggling immune systems of the young, but it can then get passed on to their parents, and through the beauty of air-conditioning and small offices, everybody else, only to come back full circle amongst the kids again – it's sort of like a fountain, if the fountain contained arsenic. And your kids swim in this fountain, every single day. It actually goes towards their strength that they aren't constantly sick with this constant flow of infectious agents after them. If they do get sick, if they do finally give in, I guess you can probably understand how many different germs they are currently fighting. So, if you see your child coming towards you with a runny nose, take a long stick (keep it handy) and keep them at it's length from you with small prods, until the running stops. Otherwise, introduce breathing masks, or an isolation room – sort of like the naughty corner but just for those with airborne infections – or just take the risks. Because if they get something, and it makes it's way through the rest of the children in your house, you will get it – there's nothing you can do, it's only a matter of time. Airborne agents are perfectly designed to survive, like the rest of us – that means the fight will always be on.

The fight goes on with head lice as well, let me tell you. Head lice are the bane of a parent's existence. Just when you think you've gotten rid of an infestation, there'll be sharing of hats or some rough play at school, and it will all be on again. And they adapt, fast. As soon as you've found something that kills them, the next generation come back stronger. They are unstoppable. You almost have to put acid on your scalp, or simply shave bald every child on earth. The second option doesn't actually sound that bad when you think about it. But that's the thing isn't it – it has to be every child, it has to be a blanket defence, or nothing at all. I remember being in a group parent meeting at Little Mango 1's school last year, where one of the father's was very angry about the head lice policy of sending kids home from school. His point was, 'I look after my kids, I make sure they don't have head lice. Why should I have to stop work in the middle of the day to come and pick up my daughter because someone else's parents aren't doing their jobs properly?' I thought he was being a bit harsh at the time, but now I completely agree. The problem with head lice is exactly that – unless every child in the school is treated regularly, there is nothing stopping their spread. And because, we all know that will never happen, the good parents will always be at the mercy of the parents who just don't care.

Which I guess can only bring us to immunisation, a topic that keeps getting dragged out in front of the public arena, despite the irrelevant nature of the counter-argument. It's sort of like the argument against climate change, or evolution – it just doesn't make sense. What I love the most is that usually the person leading the charge in the anti-immunisation debate sounds like they know what they're talking about.... and then say they have a doctorate in natural therapies – how can you even get a doctorate in that? It's like getting becoming a doctor of theology – basically a doctor of things that can't be proved. By that rationale, I could go to uni and complete a thesis on the fairies that live at the bottom of the garden and become a doctor as well.

A great example of this whole debate was a conversation I had once with a client who I thought was quite intelligent, and seemed to base most of the business he was in on science. Whilst talking I had to take a puff of my inhaler. He asked me if I was asthmatic, to which I replied, 'no I just think corticosteroids mprove my complexion.' Actually, I said 'yes.' Then he said, 'Did you have your injections as a child?' 'Yes.' I answered warily. 'Yep... that's what they do. They put chemicals in the injections that give you asthma.' As plain as day, like it was an obvious fact. I was going to say, but didn't, 'Really, I thought that was just genetics.' It didn't help his argument that generations on both sides of my family have had asthma well before immunisation became standard practice. But it's this kind of argument that creeps up on the other side, that stuns you as you hear it, unable to answer, unable to fight because of the ludicrousness of it. I think that what they forget is that these diseases we are immunising against are population killers – they once killed us by the millions. Those they didn't kill were left scarred or disabled for life. But people forget these simple facts because of words sprouted by these ridiculous false prophets, whose only real knowledge is in how to fool people. Just because they are speaking, does not mean what they are saying is true. Hitler was also a great orator, and look where he got us. The point of immunisation is to destroy the impact of a disease across an entire population. Now, yes, in doing so there are risks, there always are – anyone who says that any cause of action in life is risk-free is ridiculous. I was terrified that my kids might have some sort of adverse reaction, but we still did it because the alternative is worse. And that's the point – it is a simple case of the safety of the whole at the cost of the few. And it may sound harsh but we live in a society. As much as you'd like to believe that we can be individuals who live outside the system, this is just not true. We have been social animals for a long time and nothing is going to stop that. Which means, in cases such as life-threatening disease, we cannot afford to make decisions based on the best interests of the individual, but only the best interests of the society as a whole. We cannot individually take such a shallow-minded approach to surviving and breeding. This may be my opinion, but then again it isn't because it really shouldn't be about opinion any more – if you don't immunise, you are crazy. The fact that we are even still talking about it is testament to this.

Now, we'd like to believe that things will change, people will come to understand the point of things like immunisation and proper hair care, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. Sometimes (a lot of the time), being a parent means hard work and tough decisions, and we should be adult enough to make them with confidence and stand by them. This is the biggest thing that makes a true parent, or manager, or leader (which is why we are having so much trouble finding one right now). The person who is in charge can make the big decisions; they are capable of weighing up the costs and benefits and choosing a course of action, of losing their popularity in the process but being unflinching in the meantime, because they know what they are doing if for the best. Not best for one, nor the best of a few, but best for all. And while we still all believe we are all unique and special little snowflakes capable of having all the pros in life and none of the cons, still only think in terms of our own house, still listen to psychic octopus' for advise; we will struggle to stop the spread of illness and stupidity, to find leaders that command our respect, and struggle to push our society ahead.

It's not a prediction that came from a book, or from a false prophet, or from a dodgy back, but it's true nonetheless.