It's always a bit dangerous

Well, it's taken me almost all night to finish this, and I really hope I've written it right.

I'm going to say something now, it's probably not going to be popular, it's certainly not a widely held viewpoint, and could probably be taken in all sorts of ways, even chauvinistic (although I don't believe it is, because I know the reasons for thinking it, and the mild manner of my intentions) but I really don't care. It's about childbirth. And here it is: I think women should embrace and celebrate the pain, horrendous though it may be, that they go through their entire lives to become mothers, because they actually get to experience it.

And now, before the lynch-mob is formed, I'll qualify that. I'm not saying I want to be a mother (boy, what a great 60 Minutes that would be), or trying to say that I could handle the constant and ridiculous pain that women go through on the way towards, throughout, and away from pregnancy. Far from it, I'm pretty sure I'd cry like a school girl throughout a pregnancy., let alone labour. And I'm not saying women should be all for natural births and no drugs and making as much pain for themselves as possible just to give them some badge of pride to wear on their broken bodies. Not at all – I think women are probably always going to handle things differently, and we should probably respect a mother's decisions, no matter what they are. Scratch that, obviously 'no matter what' is probably a bit loose a term – I'm not endorsing pregnant crack-heads here. Also, I'm not trying to say that if you want to go down the natural birthing route you shouldn't, Mrs Mango did and was one of the most awesome success stories; I'm not trying to make you feel bad if you do that, it's just that … just … do whatever you think is right. Anyway, so you get it – I'm not forcing judgements here or expectations or anything else. Jeez it's so hard to be diplomatic.

Getting back to the point I started with and which I am still trying to dig myself out of. I think women are actually incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to do what they do. I've seen my wife deliver three babies naturally (amazing, scary, eye-opening, emotional) and have heard so many other countless stories from other mothers about the crazy times they went through in so many different ways and I cannot help to be amazed by it all. It's an incredible thing. It's a beautiful thing. And it's something that only women get to do. Modern developments within society aside, equal rights and pay and all that – power to you – I think it's something very unique to be able to say you literally brought another life into the world. That your body, developed over millions of years to be as complex as it is, sheltered and supported something that was little more than a divided cell, to something you can hold, hug, feed, sing to, watch learn and develop, walk and talk, grow and breed, and continue the adventure along. I mean, it could have turned out so differently. Humans could be breeding like fish, depositing eggs on the ground in the hope that a male will come along and fertilise them (so disturbing); we could be asexual and just divide into another person every now and then; for gods sake some spider babies eat their mothers - things could be very, very different.

For instance, here are a few amazing things that happen during a human pregnancy:

- In 10 weeks, a baby changes from just a division of cells, to something having a heart, brain, lungs, kidneys 

   and intestines, eyes, ears, nose and mouth, limbs and fingernails, and can respond to touch.

- A baby girl, in 20 weeks, already has 3 million eggs.

- At Week 24, a baby can hear and differentiate between it's mothers voice and it's fathers, and can   

   remember these after birth

- A woman's uterus grows up to 1000 times its normal size by due date and most of her internal organs will 

   have been pushed aside to make room.

-  When the baby is ready to go, it's lungs will release a protein (a sign that they are fully developed) that sets 

   off a multitude of chemical reactions in a woman's body, in the end releasing oxytocin into the bloodstream

   and triggering labour.

There's so much more that goes on during pregnancy and labour that cannot be described here. See, the bible got it wrong when they said that the pain during labour was a punishment for eating fruit (ironically, it seems god also then decided our normal digestive functions wouldn't work properly without it). It was a gift from evolution that the females of our species, although admittedly at sometimes great danger to themselves, and even though they would struggle to have their voices heard in every other part of life (although it's changing now) could be given the opportunity to experience these incredible things. Albeit, you may not notice some of the things that are listed above, though hearing about them opens your eyes to exactly how fascinating the human body is; you will get to experience the living, breathing, crying baby that sits on your chest moments after birth, however it happens, the opening of their eyes upon the one that bore them, and know that you did that, all by yourself.

Men, we always have a supporting role, we're like Robert Duvall. We're there for the first bit of pregnancy obviously, and happy to be at that, and then can only watch, and guess, and occasionally duck, for the next nine months. And then at the end, all we can do is hold their hand and hope for the best, an encouraging word and no real idea or appreciation of what our partner is going through. We get to see some amazing things happen, (and some god-awful, never-to-be-mentioned, nightmarish things that will haunt us for the rest of our days - seriously, guys who haven't had kids - you will see shit that you ain't never gonna forget- so cold, so very very cold....), we get to witness our partners in their absolute worst and absolute best in one glorious roller coaster ride that sees them bring into the world something we love from the very first moment; and we can only imagine at best what it's like to be on the other end of that. As I've said before, fatherhood is completely external, but women will always have such a greater bond, unspoken, with their child because they did it. They get to part of something glorious and ancient, and which holds in it's essence the very future of our species, and the tiny beings that make our hearts break.

So, I'm not saying enjoy the pain, I'm not saying be thankful for it - dammit, be angry at it - but appreciate what a spectacularly unique process you're going through, and have been through, or are about to go through.  Because it is but a moment compared to your whole life, and you'll only get a few, sometimes only a single chance at it. But that chance is yours, and I know the women that have taken it feel that pride about themselves that they could do such remarkable things (although most don't admit it) and they should. That pain is theirs, the pain that brings us together, the pain that shows us unconditional love and compassion, the pain that makes the world go on.